


Mental Issues

by wesseling



Category: Life on Mars (UK)
Genre: Mentions of self-harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-12
Updated: 2014-04-12
Packaged: 2018-01-19 02:27:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1452154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wesseling/pseuds/wesseling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after the events of 1.08 and 2.01. Annie finally has to face the fact that Sam needs help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mental Issues

She could already hear Sam whilst she was still outside in the corridor. His muffled voice could be heard through the walls.

She was trying to hear to whom Sam was talking to. Annie didn’t really fancy walking in on him again when he was with another woman. But so far she had only heard Sam. She couldn’t make out the words he was saying but he sounded very distressed. There were breaks in between Sam’s speech probably so that the other person could reply to what Sam had just said. But still Annie couldn’t hear any other voice. So maybe he was on the phone. That would be alright then, she thought. 

Annie knocked on his apartment door. Sam didn’t open though. His voice had risen another level and he was really yelling now. Annie grabbed the handle of the door and turned it – it wasn’t locked. She pushed at the door, opening it a little.

And there he was, gesturing wildly, walking up and down in his flat, arguing with people that couldn’t be seen.

“No, you are not going to do this. I will prove to you that I am able to feel. That I’m alive!”

He shattered an empty bottle of scotch and grabbed one of the bigger shards between his index finger and his thumb of his right hand. Sam moved his left sleeve of his shirt up over his elbow so that his forearm was bare.

Annie had seen enough. She had to interfere. Though she had no idea why she knocked at the door again because it was already open.

Well, maybe she just wanted to make sure she caught Sam’s attention in time.

She swung the door open with so much force that it collided with the wall and she made one unsteady step into the flat.

Sam, whose back had been facing the door, quickly turned around.

When he realised that Annie was standing there he jumped in surprise and maybe fear.

 

“Annie…”

 

“Sam what are you doing?”

 

Sam looked rather confused, sweat was trickling down his forehead. Annie glanced at the shard in Sam’s hand.

Sam followed her eyes until he gazed at the shard as well.

“Oh this…this is nothing. Annie, look…” Sam was coming towards her, the shard in his hand pointing at her threateningly.

 

Annie took two steps back. “Sam, you’re scaring me.”

 

Sam stopped, took a look at the shard again and placed it on a nearby shelf.

 

“You got to understand. See, those doctors said that I probably couldn’t feel anything anymore. That I was already dead inside.”

 

“And so you wanted to cut your arm with a piece of broken glass?!”

 

“Well, I needed to take serious action to show them, to prove them wrong!”

 

Annie could see now that Sam had mental issues far more serious than she had thought.

These voices Sam kept referring to were in his head. And Sam was obviously hearing them right now.

He had clutched his hands over his ears. His eyes scanning the room, he started muttering.

“Don’t do this. Don’t let this happen.”

 

“Sam…” She tried to keep her voice calm. “I think you should see somebody.”

 

Sam kept on muttering to himself, his head bowed, eyes fixed on a spot on the carpet. Annie turned around, she wanted to leave the flat and get help. Her movement set Sam in motion.

 

“No, no, no, wait! I thought you believed me. I thought you understood me.”

 

“Sam, we’ve been through this.” She said a little annoyed but then her tone changed.

“I care about you very much.”

 

She took his hand between her hands, it felt ice cold.

 

“Now, wait here, sit down. I will get us something to eat.” And for the first time Annie lied to Sam. She watched him with a pitying look as he sat on his bed, already lost in thought again. Annie didn’t close the door on her way out.

 

She reached the street and headed toward the telephone booth on the other side of the road. Although at first she was thinking about calling the Guv, she knew this wouldn’t do any good. It wouldn’t provide the help that Sam really needed.

The first time Sam had worried her like that, when he thought that Victor Tyler was his father, she had chickened out of calling help. She had left him sitting alone in the Tylers’ house hoping he would come to his senses.

But then in the woods… If DCI Hunt hadn’t turned up, Sam would definitely have given that gun to Vic Tyler. He had been so desperate to protect that man that he didn’t realise what a piece of scum that man really was. Annie was certain Victor Tyler would have shot both of them if he’d had the chance. But luckily or unfortunately Victor Tyler vanished off the face of the world that day in the woods.

And Sam seemed fine after that. Heartbroken but fine. And the Guv didn’t hold a grudge against Sam for pulling a gun on him. So she thought everything was alright, she was just overreacting, reading too much into Sam’s behaviour. As long as he was capable of doing his job and as long as he wasn’t hurting anybody or himself, he would be ok.

Oh, how she had been kidding herself!

Now when she thought about it, nothing had got better after this.

A few weeks later Sam had manipulated the Guv to make Tony Crane look like a loony even though Crane was just telling the truth about Sam. She had wanted to say something back then, but again she hadn’t, because her gut feeling was telling her it really was for the better when Tony Crane was off the street. Still it was not ethical.

 

Why had she even doubted herself in the first place, why had she rather trust the Guv on this? Because he had more life experience? So he knew best how to handle his officer?

Well, she was the one with a BA in psychology in this team. She should give herself more credit for this even if the others didn’t.

 

She just wanted to help.

 

All the same her eyes burned because of the tears when she asked the operator to be connected with the psychiatric ward of St. Mary’s hospital.


End file.
